Streaming Scary Movie 5 Online

Scary Movie 5 (2013)iMDB Rating: 3.5
Date Released : 12 April 2013
Genre : Comedy
Stars : Simon Rex, Ashley Tisdale, Charlie Sheen, Lindsay Lohan
Movie Quality : HDrip
Format : MKV
Size : 870 MB

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Happily-married couple Dan and Jody begin to notice some bizarre activity once they bring their lost nieces and nephew home. But when the chaos expands into Jody's job as a ballet dancer and Dan's career as an Ape researcher, they realize their family is being stalked by a nefarious demon. Together, with the advice of a psychic and the aid of numerous surveillance cameras, they must figure out how to get rid of it before it's too late.

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Review :

Terrifying in all the worst ways.

It is almost inconceivable to imagine how much effort a group of people would have to put into making a film as bad as Scary Movie 5. The latest instalment in the series of lazy spoofs, not including some unforgivable side projects including Date Movie and Epic Movie, this film offers virtually nothing to its audience, insulting their intelligence for an hour-and-a-half with perhaps the worst collection of blatantly uninspired and recycled gags ever put to celluloid.

The film's horrendous excuse for a plot centres on a suburban wife (Ashley Tisdale) and her dimwitted husband (Simon Rex) moving into a haunted house with their possessed adopted children. From there, the film brings its staple of parodying the biggest blockbusters of the last few years, but does so without a semblance of relevance, creativity or wit.

It says a lot about the film that the only half-laughs to be had come from Charlie Sheen and Lindsay Lohan sharing the opening scene- an incredibly stupid and borderline cringe-worthy, but inexplicably entertaining chuckle at their fall from grace.

It's all downhill from there, though, as the rest of the film plays out as a series of unconnected set pieces seen literally hundreds of times before. Often, such an unappealing movie is still able to salvage some hope by suiting itself for a target market, but it is hard to see any audience group, from 15 year-olds to stoners, defending this abomination.

One would have to drink Lindsay under the table, smoke copious amounts of bud with Snoop Dogg and/or Lion and snort pure tiger blood with Charlie to even come close to drawing any semblance of enjoyment from this disaster. An imminent sweep of this year's Razzies doesn't seem like ironic punishment enough for one of the worst films ever made.

*There's nothing I love more than a bit of feedback, good or bad. So drop me a line on jnatsis@iprimus.com.au and let me know what you thought of my review. If you're looking for a writer for your movie website or other publication, I'd also love to hear from you.*